I have to make a decision in due time about my IOP program. I think there's been some covert mistreatment going on. They're still jiggering lunch with me and they're still jiggering the treatment coordinators around as if they can't decide who's going to be my counselor on my case. I don't know if they're discriminating against me because of how I feel about Olga. I don't know if they deliberately withheld me from the morning track so that I could stay in the afternoon track and be separate from Olga. If that's true I don't like them lying to me about it. They said that the morning track was full. And sure enough another person was in like Flynn they were admitted as soon as I told my counselor of late that I no longer wanted to go into the morning track anyway because things are not working out between Olga and me.
Now let me explain what I mean about things not working out is things are not working out the way I would like them to work out. We're still not close and we're definitely not going to have a relationship. She has a speech impediment and about 95% of the time I talk to her I don't understand a word that she's saying. I mostly read her body language which is questionable. I'm not sure many times if she's interested even in being around me but lately her body language has been positive. She wanted to have lunch with another person and she invited me to be with her and him. The guy who's new is the one who got admitted into the morning track very immediately and like me having to wait. And it seems like right after I told my counselor that I was going to stay in the afternoon track, he got in! That just doesn't make me feel too good. The other thing that bothered me was he and Olga seemed to hit it off a lot quicker than she and I did - - -which may go to show that when she wants to she can actually talk to people understandably.
That last meeting with them left me feeling like she wanted to be somewhere else besides with me.
That happened this past Tuesday and I just felt awful for the rest of the day. I was seriously thinking about leaving the IOP and getting transferred either to another place or searching for another provider.

Until next time 👋🙏