[Verse 1]
Got my shoes by the door
Hand on the key, then I freeze
Every street feels like a test
Every face, a judge and a jury
If I walk out, I’m exposed
If I stay in, I’m a ghost
Spinning circles in the same four walls
Till my own name feels like a joke
[Chorus]
It’s a rigged game in my head
Every move I make, I’m losing
If I go, I’m weak, if I stay, I’m useless
Can’t win, can’t quit, keep choosing
Guard up high like armor made of dread
I’m so tired of the loop, but I can’t step ahead
It’s a rigged game, a rigged game in my head
(oh, in my head)
[Verse 2]
Inner voice on a loudspeaker
Talking trash at 3 a.m.
Keeps a tally of each misstep
Says, “You’ll just fail again”
Every breath on high alert
Even calm feels rehearsed
Laugh it off, but under my shirt
Heart’s doing laps till it hurts
[Chorus]
It’s a rigged game in my head
Every move I make, I’m losing
If I go, I’m weak, if I stay, I’m useless
Can’t win, can’t quit, keep choosing
Guard up high like armor made of dread
I’m so tired of the loop, but I can’t step ahead
It’s a rigged game, a rigged game in my head
(yeah, in my head)
[Bridge]
What if I drop my fists tonight?
Stop rehearsing every line?
Let the worst thing just arrive
And see I’m still alive, still alive
What if I walk out, shaking
Still come back, not broken?
What if I talk back, laughing
To that voice that’s always spoken?
[Chorus]
It’s a rigged game in my head
Every move I make, I’m losing
If I go, I’m weak, if I stay, I’m useless
Can’t win, can’t quit, keep choosing
But my hands are reaching out instead
Through the static of the panic and the things I never said
It’s a rigged game, a rigged game in my head
Till I change the rules, change the rules in my head